Home is where we rest between adventures...

I love this.  I came up with it when I was pondering on why I struggling to keep on top of the housework and day to day requirements for our busy family.

Housework has never been a strong point of mine.  Even before kids.

I was trying to think of a way to motivate myself and really think about what home means to me.

Funnily enough, I am a homebody and love nothing better than to enjoy quiet days with nowhere else to go.  Home is where I nourish and nurture myself, replenish and rejuvenate.  Ready for the next fun adventure.

For it to achieve those things it's needs to be reasonably orderly.  When my house is messy and untidy I can't ever seem to find the energy or enthusiasm for big adventures.  It's like a weight of ovewhelm worn around my neck and it drags me down.  Not exactly how I would like to feel.  

So, if our home is to help us achieve those things, it needs to be comforting and relaxing.  Mess and clutter make that impossible.

Therefore, it's onwards and upwards from here and after being inspired by Organising the four of us 
I'm going to start by working on a list of three things each day to get done until they're a habit.  Then I can add in more or reassess how I'm going.

My first 3?

1. Exercise for 20 minutes
2. Clean the house for 30 minutes
3. Complete 2 loads of laundry (wash, dry, fold and put away)

I completely procrastinate on all 3 of these things often so they are what I want to cross off my list as early as I can in the day.  I want to make these a habit and build on them because before too long we will move into our new home which is nearly 3 times the size of our current home.  If I struggle to keep this tiny place clean, how will I manage a larger home? 

Wish me luck! 

The Fisherman Story...

 I love this story...

The Fisherman Story
Author Unknown

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.  Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.  The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “Only a little while."

The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos.  I have a full and busy life.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part.  When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire.  Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

~

Some thoughts on simplicity and learning to be myself...

I am so far behind on my family happenings and it's my endeavour now that the boys are back at school and kinder to catch up but I just wanted to get some thoughts and ideas out there...

Simplicity...such a buzz word at the moment as so many people struggle to balance work, life, children, marriages, extended family, running households.

There is so much being written and shared that is so encouraging and helping to reduce consumption and not feel like life is one big race to who knows what.

Yet, due to my unique and crazy personality I was still trying fit in to a stereotype that I never will, and in actual fact probably doesn't even really exist.

Some people sharing ideas on simplicity are building thriving businesses and brands.  Some are working on becoming self sufficient with gardens and farms.  Some are focused on health and wellness, some on money, savings and investments.  There are even those that work on ways to earn money while they spend all of their time travelling.

It all falls into the category of simplicity even though it looks different to everyone.

Some people want to live simply now with reduced spending and just enough work and others work hard and save so they can be debt free and retire early.  Some are building businesses that they are passionate about and are earning fantastic money and simplicity to them is finding ways to not be too consumed with it all and find moments to just relax.

I guess what my point is, is that it's finally clicked that even a term such as "simplicity" can be interpreted a million different ways.  There will never be a right or wrong way of doing things.

What's important is that we find the way that feels right to us.  That's where the struggle begins for me.  It's always been my struggle although I do think I'm taking huge leaps forward at the moment.

I've had moments of feeling so torn to do what is "right" and to fit in and do what is expected.  Guilt when I haven't been able to live up to that for whatever reason.

So right now for me it's about letting go...or working on it at least.  Letting go of the conflict and accepting what is and making the most of it.

While there are so many amazing opportunities available to us in this day and age we need to make sure we're choosing based on our own values and not getting swept up in the fairy tale we are often shown.

Whatever we choose will mean perhaps sacrificing good things so that we can have the really great things.  The things that mean the most to us.  This will look different to each individual.

So I have to acknowledge some of this and do my best to work around the challenges and "grow where I'm planted" because there is good and amazing and wonderful in our everyday if we choose to look for it or even take the time to create it.

I'm also accepting that I'm allowed to contradict myself...there's no rule book that says I have to do things a certain way and that's a good thing.  I'll keep drawing inspiration from those around me like I always have but now I'll embrace it instead of feeling like I never fit in.  I'm in charge of designing my own life and I'm the only one that needs to love those choices! (obviously as long as it's not hurting others).   

Simply loving life.  That's all I want to be doing.  The good, the bad and the challenging.  The miracles and the messes.  Embrace it all and make the most of it.  Xoxo.

How to get married for under $4000!

It's my 10 year wedding anniversary with my awesome hubby today!  10 years married and we've been together for 15 years.  Yep, I was 17 when we became "boyfriend and girlfriend", 18 when we started living together, engaged at 19 and then at the ripe old age of 22 we were married!

We were living with my brother at the time trying to save to buy our first house, so we really didn't want to spend too much on the wedding.  So we didn't.  Here are my hints of cheap but fun wedding:

1. I had a hen's night out in the city with a few friends, we stayed at a hotel and had a blast!

2. I had my sister (who is a hairdresser) and Mum do my hair.

I look pretty happy about that don't I?

3. We didn't hire anyone for anything really - I did my own make-up and my bridesmaids make-up. 

4. My bridesmaids were invited to wear whatever they felt comfortable in. There was no additional expenses for them. They didn't need spray tans, expensive dresses, shoes, hair and make-up.  It was very relaxed and they looked beautiful.  

My bridesmaid Erica helping me with my necklace

5. I wore my sister's veil and borrowed jewellery. We bought simple wedding bands. My dress was a $200 deb dress from Garfunkle.



My sister Sharon fixing my hair...

6. We didn't hire cars...we were having a ceremony in a park so no-one could see the car anyway.

My Dad and I...so special...



  7. We paid a small fee to have our ceremony at a rotunda in Catani gardens in St Kilda.



The kiss!





 8. We only invited immediate family and our bridal party.

Our family photo...

9. We didn't hire a photographer.

My beautiful bridesmaids...

10. I didn't buy any bridal magazine or browse wedding websites.  

 My bridesmaid Bean (nickname) - we've know each other since we were 3yo!

11. We didn't book a reception venue for our reception.  We booked a room in a restaurant called Donovan's in St Kilda. 





12. We didn't order a "wedding cake" or a "bridal bouquet" - we just needed a cake and flowers. 

 My Mum and I...

My brother and I

Michael and his mate Ryan

 My niece Kelly was our flower girl...so cute!

13. We didn't go on a honeymoon straight away (and when we did we got discount tickets to fly to the Gold Coast for a week and stayed in a holiday park!)

14. On our wedding night we stayed at the Hilton Hotel in East Melboune and spoiled ourselves the next morning with a buffet breakfast and massages.  We then headed to Crown Casino to watch a movie before we headed home.  

15. We didn't get caught up on perfection.  It's the fastest way to spend a whole lot of money on details that no-one notices anyway!  Focus on on why you're getting married and the connection between you and your husband...it's the commitment that matters, it's the love that's important and actually not much else.

Happy Anniversary to my husband Michael.  We have shared so much of our life together, we've had ups and downs, 4 beautiful boys and now we're working on our dream in the country.  I'm so excited to see what the next 10 years brings! 

Happiness Lies...

I've been a little worked up about something of late...

I feel like we're all being taken for a massive ride and we're too sucked in to notice. 

Starting from such a young age, and increasing as we grow older we are told lies that "stuff" will make us happy.  

Money, cars, houses, clothes, gadgets, boats, furniture, TVs, motorbikes, holiday homes...

Did you know how much equipment and toys children need now just to develop normally and  survive to adulthood?

Don't forget how much happier you'll be when you use all of those expensive beauty products, inject toxins into your face and then of course when you get old you can just fix up all the saggy bits with surgery.

If you're overweight make sure that you follow expensive diet plans, take a multitude of supplements and you really need to invest in thousands of dollars of equipment to exercise or it just won't work. 

Oh, and socially attend all of the greatest parties, hire party planners for 2nd birthday parties, dinners out at the latest and greatest restaurants and of course, if you want to be really happy don't forget to throw in all of the travel to exotic overseas resorts. 

Then, once you're working and striving and stressing to pay for all of this, you'll live with the fear that you have to hold on to it all so tightly for fear that you may lose it all!  You believe that you're happiness would disappear along with all of the superficial, material items that you own...

Or, if you're not rolling in money, you are probably drowning in debt, just trying to keep up with all of the latest and greatest that you need to be "happy", because, well, those people on all of the ads look like they're having a blast! Isn't life so much easier when you purchase more? You'll laugh and smile every time you hop into that new car, and you know that deodorant will have the opposite sex falling at your feet!

Work, work, work, buy, buy, buy, stress, stress, stress, buy, buy, buy, work, work, work.

What would you be left with if it was all gone tomorrow?  What if you were left with nothing?

Just you, on your own, nowhere to hide.

Do you actually even know who you are if you take away your possessions and your job?  If all of that was taken from you would you still feel like you were worth anything? 

What if at the end of your days you look back and realised that you missed so many special, beautiful, simple moments because money was your higher priority?

Marriages are ending in divorce, family units are being broken, the rates of depression and mental illness are higher than ever, Self esteem and the self worth of people is at an all time low,  people are drowning in debt...and somehow we still think earning more money and buying more stuff will fix everything!!!

How happy is all that stuff your working so hard for really making you? 

Image source



I fell for the illusion, and I ended up with a rocky marriage, a heap of debt and was feeling pretty low.  It was the toughest time of my life.  I felt like I was sliding further and further down into a big black hole.  It not only affected my marriage, it affected my children as well. 

I'm so grateful to be able to say that this was a short term situation, however we have a lengthy long term plan to repair what we damaged.  I changed a lot of my beliefs and thinking radically.  Radically.

There's nothing wrong with working hard and earning good money, but is it the focus and priority in your life?  Are your relationships suffering?  Are you taking part in addictive, numbing behaviours to avoid dealing with your problems?  Do you feel like you need to get the thrill of buying something new to brighten up your day?  Is the high of purchasing very quickly replaced with a low of guilt or emptiness?  Is your idea of a time spent with the family at the shopping centre or do you simply not have family time at all?

I've been working on my own changes for quite some time now and I would love to share some of the ideas that have worked for me.  Of course, they won't suit every situation, and every person, they are just what have worked for me.  I'm certainly not an expert!

What I can say though is the ideas come from someone that thought more "stuff" would make them feel like they had their life together, and that more "stuff" would make them feel important, more "stuff" meant they didn't have to face their emotions and mostly that more "stuff" would make them happy...and then learnt the hard way that this is simply not true.

Can you relate to this at all? I would love to hear your thoughts!

My focus for 2013...

As amazing as 2012 was, I'm looking forward to 2013 even more!  There's something exciting about starting a new year, the fun to be had, lessons to be learnt, love to be shared and no doubt new challenges to overcome.

So I've decided my new focus word for 2013 is:

Organisation

May not sound that interesting too many, however I see it as a gateway to time, fun and connection with my family.
I've never been a naturally organised person.  It's something that I have to work on, consistently, especially with 4 boys. 
I touched on it here also. 

When I'm disorganised I'm running late, I can't find things, bills are paid late, we can't find clean washing, I get frustrated and grumpy and feel like I'm running on constant overwhelm.

When I'm organised life runs a lot smoother.  I have time to stop and be in the moment with my boys, I'm not irritated by interruptions.  I make healthier food.  We have time to play and go on adventures.  I have time to leave notes in lunchboxes and read books.  We have time to help others and are more likely to treat others kindly.  Our home is ready to welcome friends and family.  The positives are endless. 

We are so enjoying the ease of summer living right now, not having to be anywhere or do anything!  We are in for a busy year with Louis heading off to Grade 2, Dylan in Prep, Ethan in 4yo kinder and Jayden in 3yo kinder.  After school activities, kinder duty and the running (and organising) of our home and family will keep me accounted for that's for sure.

People wonder how I manage 4 boys and how I haven't lost my mind but seriously, just look at these faces... 

Louis

Dylan (with a wii remote near his head)

Ethan

Jayden

They are seriously the greatest boys!  They are so kind and caring and give the best cuddles. They are smart, funny and energetic.  They also have some intense moods, tantrums and attitudes.  I love every part of them though and am so grateful that we all have each other. 

Yep, it's going to be an awesome year!

Family time vs housework

On my quest for quality family time and improved organisation I have found that I've been swinging like a pendulum.  I tend to be an all or nothing kind of person and the ability to find my balance has been a real challenge. 

I seem go from spending a heap of time cleaning and organising the house to spending no time on it at all.  I have it look really fantastic and then feel guilty for not spending as much time with my boys so then I plan a heap of wonderful activities and outings and then feel too tired to deal with the house again.

Jayden, Dylan, Ethan and Louis at Mansfield Zoo...

The difference this time, opposed to the numerous other times (years?) I've gone through this is that this time I'm really accepting the difficulty.  I'm really trying to assess where I can make positive changes that will work on a long term basis.  Changes that will bring peace, calm and organisation into my home along with fun and connection. 

This is all a work in progress so I'm sure I'll still have to make adjustments here and there however I'm really enjoying the results so far. 

So....

Step 1: I initially cut out my computer use through the day completely, however now while the boys will have their "electronic time" so will I.  My endeavour to blog daily is just too much of a commitment right now with 4 little ones so I will just be taking each day as it comes!

Step 2: The boys now have "zones" that are their responsibility to keep tidy.  They are only little so when I say keep tidy, it's just a matter of cleaning up the toys at the end of the day.  They don't have to clean as such.

Louis: Dining room/kitchen
Dylan: Lounge room
Ethan: Bedroom
Jayden: Bedroom

I've been amazed at how much this helps and how they've really stepped up.  Of course we help as well and if one room is particularly messy the other boys will help as well.  It's all about teamwork and working together as a family!

Step 3: They each have a little job to do around the house.

Louis: Take the rubbish out to the outdoor bin (daily)
Dylan: Set the table (placemats, plates, forks and cups of water)
Ethan: Help empty the dishwasher (he's just doing cutlery for now)
Jayden: Hmmmm....not sure just yet!  Although he is a great helper throughout the day which I'm happy enough with for now! 

Dylan on the slide at the Mansfield Botanical gardens

Step 4: I have a basic schedule up on the wall of what needs to be done each day.  This is not hard and fast by any stretch of the imagination however, on the rare occasion when I'm unwell or am out for afternoon/evening I'm hoping that everything will run relatively smoothly.

The reason for this is I found that when I was out of action I would have either a whole lot of mess to catch up on or that I would be interrupted because only I knew what should be happening and when.  I really believe now that it's important to have systems in place so in case of emergency the household can remain stable and function as normal (or relatively normal)

Step 5: Weekly menu up on the fridge with each dinner for the same reasons mentioned in step 4.

Step 6: Weekly planner up on the fridge with all major and minor commitments listed including school and after school activities, Dr appointments etc.  I tend to colour code each person as well as whole family activities so that it's easy to read. This is also for the same reasons outlined in step 4. 

So I'm pretty happy with the organisational and planning side of things and now I'm moving on to the fun side!! 
It's so easy to get caught up in the housework and our to-do lists that the non-urgent activities get pushed aside or never even make it on to the schedule. Our children don't understand why they're not a priority when we're so busy and to be honest, they shouldn't have to!  They are only little for so long I believe it's critical that we put as much time and effort as we can into these little ones.  They are so worth it!!!

Jayden having a visit to Kinder and loving the sandpit

Do you schedule or plan the fun activities you do with your kids?  Do you even feel you have time to do them at all?  I would love to hear your ideas and thoughts on this!

My computer challenge week 1

Lately, I've been trying to find ways for my family to connect and to stay close.  Family is the most important part of my life and I want that to reflect in how I spend my time. 

I can honestly (regretfully) say that I'm sure there were plenty of times my children have felt that I have not put them first.  Sadly, they may even say I have at times spent more time on the computer (facebook, blog reading etc) than I have playing/interacting with them.

When I think of this I feel really sad at the lost hours and days that I could have been loving on my children, teaching them, getting creative, just hanging out and getting outdoors. 

I know I have spent too much time on the computer due to avoiding my responsibilities around the home, zoning out, feeling the need for time alone and also reading, learning and researching on my personal growth journey. 

While I can't go back and change how much time I've wasted on the meaningless stuff, I can make changes now. 

My challenge for myself is to no longer spend time on the computer between the hours of 7am and the boys bedtime. 

If I need to do some research with the boys, or look up a recipe I will do it on Michael's computer to avoid the urge to check email or facebook. 

Part of this is also due to my concern with how much my boys spend on electronics (computer/ipad/tv/Wii) and I feel like before I start moaning about how much time they spend on it, I better pull my finger out and make the changes as well! I'm not completely opposed to them spending their spare time playing, however I just want to encourage other types of play as well. 

Louis my little gamer boy when he was about 3...sitting there with no pants on! Lol...(dont' mind the mess in the background...I used to be a hoarder who was very unorganised!)

I'm so interested to see what this week will bring.  I have already lowered my computer time considerably in the last month however to drop it completely will be eye opening.  I will be so interested to see how this impacts on my family, my relationship with my children and the time I'll have to work on other projects and goals. 

I will post an update at the end of the week letting you know how I go!

High country living...

We moved to the country almost 2 years ago.  We bought 33 acres and designed our dream home.  Our original plan was to rent while we built the house, though lucky for us my in-laws had an investment property for us to move into instead. 

About 2 years ago...

We were so excited to make this tree change.  Why else would we leave with Michael in a stable job earning great money and with a 4 little ones aged 9 months, 2, 3 and 5 years old? 

Hay rides today to feed the cows

All 8 of them...

Love this...Dylan's face when we were talking about sausages and where they come from...

It's always the simple things...the boys had a ball playing with this pipe

We had dreamed of a move to the country for as long as I can remember.  The idea of all of that space with 4 boys just made a lot of sense.  Michael was a country boy at heart having grown up weekending in this same area and riding motorbikes. 

So, we thought why not? We were making the move to live our dream life. 

Reality was a little different. 

Work was quiet, our savings dropped, we faced a lot of personal challenges and it turned out to be the most difficult year of our life.  The house plans were put on a back burner and we fumbled our way along trying to keep ourselves afloat.  We questioned every element of our life at this stage.

We talked briefly at times about selling our block, returning to Melbourne, Michael heading away to work in mines the other side of the country.  Each time we would get to that stage though we both knew we didn't want to let go of our block. 

3 boys running up the driveway to our house site

I can honestly say now though that I'm grateful to have had these challenges. It has forced us both to face some stuff we really didn't want to.  I can be grateful now because we've come out the other side. 

Now it's just a game of catch up financially and rebuilding our dream.  It will happen, it will just take us a little longer than first anticipated.  I believe that everything happens for a reason, so I will continue to be confident knowing that this is the path we were meant to walk. 

We all love living up here.  The boys enjoy visiting family and heading down to the "big smoke" however the country is our home.  They love the freedom and of course the fact that it doesn't matter where you go, there is always someone they know! 

We look forward to building and moving up to our block one day...just watch this space! 

Our dog Daisy...she was so tired after a big run around!

First steps to organisation...hopefully...

Back to school and kinder tomorrow for the kiddies.  Monday is my busiest day by far. We live about 23km out of town which only takes about a 15min drive due to the 100km speed limit.  I usually drop Louis at school and then Dylan and Ethan at kinder by 8.45am. 

In theory at least...I very rarely make it in time.  I'm so not a morning person.  At all. 

Jayden and I hang around and run some errands until 11.30am when I pick Ethan up, then we head home for lunch.  Then we all jump in the car again to pick Dylan up by 2.15pm.  Then home again.  Then walk to the bus stop at 4pm to get Louis. 

So because of my perpetual running late in the mornings I know I've got to make a big effort to be more organised. 

So this evening I started by:

1. Kitchen clean, sink shining (as per Flylady step 1)

2. School bags packed, uniforms ready for the morning.  Jayden was so cute packing a kinder bag as well, he even put a banana in there! The cupboard was used for clothes before we changed the boys rooms around so I just turned it sideways to use it locker style like this.  

3. Lunches made for Louis, Dylan and Michael.  (Ethan only needs to take fruit to kinder so it's already in his bag)

4. To-do list/Schedule ready to go. 

I have a clipboard and I print off a month or 2 of the daily calendars from Outlook.  I find this way perfect for all of the daily tasks, routines and fun stuff that I want to fit in (although I do have a diary I use also from Kikki-k - check out the 2013 version here)  I also have a monthly calendar up on my pinboard that I've been printing from outlook, however I'll be looking for a larger style for the whole family to see for 2013.  Any suggestions?



So these are my first steps.  Nothing out of the ordinary however I know it will make a world of difference to my organisation in the mornings.  This will set off my day smoothly and stress free as well as my boys. I know the difficulty is in consistency and not letting it all go after a few weeks (days?) but we'll see how I go!

Do you have any other tips for morning (or night before) organisation? 

Just a quick note...

Ok, so I'm going to be truthful and honest in this blog and the truth is today was not such a great day. 

I won't go into too much detail however it involves me being in a bad mood and feeling crampy and grumpy...

I managed to have a little teary before wrapped in my husbands arms and now I'm feeling a heap better. Better out than in so they say.

I used to get in a bad mood and blame everyone else or something going wrong for putting me there.  So many little things would irritate me and I would be so grumpy.  It's such a nice feeling now to know that it's my mood and I can deal with it without bringing down everyone around me in the process.  I am so grateful for overcoming that. 

So anyway, my boys were gorgeous as usual, although they were annoying each other just about the right amount for a day stuck indoors with so much rain.

Daylight savings begins tonight which I'm looking forward to.  Hopefully we get some sunny weather to go along with it next week.

So, I'm decluttering a whole lot more toys from the boys room in anticipation for two upcoming birthdays and Christmas.  Surprisingly, Jayden is the most agreeable child when it comes to letting things go which is making it a lot easier.  So far the back of my car is loaded with toys for the op shop.  I could sell them on Ebay and make quite a bit I imagine, however I just don't have the patience right now to bother.  It's not like we haven't had good use for them!

I'm thinking of signing up for Flylady emails and to perhaps follow her process for keeping organised.

Has anyone reading used her system and had success?