Tony Robbins documentary...

I just saw this was on Netflix today and immediately sat to watch it.  Within a few minutes I was in tears...really powerful stuff...here's the trailer if you want to have a look but the documentary is available now on Netflix...

 

 

There is something I find so amazing about people taking a journey of self discovery to work on their happiness. To turn their pain into purpose takes such courage and strength.  We need more of it in this world that's for sure.  

 

It's funny how others think personal development and working on loving and accepting yourself is seen as selfish when in fact it allows us to better focus on those around us and share so much more love and joy.  More peace in the world begins with healing ourselves, and what an example we become for our children when we show them what this looks like...xoxo

 



Currently reading...July

I really love my local library.  It's only small but I can log onto the library system and order in nearly any book!  (Did you all know about this?  I only learnt it a year or two ago and it changed. my. life).

I sometimes think about how I'm not supporting the authors very well by only borrowing from the library but really, I just wouldn't be able to afford it otherwise.  I feel very grateful to have access to so many amazing books though! 

The ladies that work there are so friendly (one in particular who will know who she is if she reads this) and they are always happy to chat with the boys.

I read and take notes as I go.  I realise the more I need to learn the more I write.  Ha.  It's always a good thing when I read something that I already have my head around and so don't need to write so much! (Doesn't happen all that often!). 

So here's three books that I've read in the last few weeks.  As you'll see I'm a huge fan of non-fiction and these are all highly recommended for different reasons.  I'm not really going to write reviews on them...there are plenty of other places for that, but I have added a link to each of their websites so you can learn more about them and a few notes. 

www.handsfreemama.com

Too many notes to share, but a couple of points:

Leave a legacy to inspire a future generation - I sometimes think I have nothing worthy of blogging about but then I remember that there needs to be a balance...I am proud to live simply and be at home...I can be one voice in the millions that say that's enough.  I can share what matters to my family and I and maybe someone will stumble upon this one day and know that you can choose this!  You can be perfectly ordinary and absolutely freaking love your life.  You can be yourself and not waste your life trying to prove yourself...which brings me to the next book... 

 

 

 https://www.elevatevitality.com.au/ 

I think I nearly rewrote this book! Ha.  I highly recommend this...I will be purchasing this book to re-read whenever I feel the need.  I only wish I had read it 20 years ago as a teenager!

"The most important person that needs your approval is you"

"You don't need to prove yourself, you are already enough"

Another big aha moment was where she writes about when we feel low, we think one way to get out of it is to set new, better, higher goals (GUILTY!).  Then if we don't reach them we blame and shame ourselves.  This is a cycle I've been on just a few times before unfortunately. 

There is just really so much good stuff in this book...

 

 http://www.leonardsax.com/

Another great read.  I was a little worried about it, as I often am when ready some parenting books but it seemed right along the lines of what I believe.

He talks about strict and loving parenting which I'm finding with 4 boys that I really need.  If I'm not firm I get a lot of cheeky boys trying to get away with a lot.  I do have fairly high expectations for my boys but there is no shortage of love in this house.  We talk openly, have lots of cuddles and affection and a heap of fun.  I just need certain areas to be fairly under control such as our morning and evening routines and everyone helping out with jobs around the house.  For the first time in a long time I'm not second guessing my parenting and feel confidant that we are taking the right approach.  It has taken a lot of research and reading to get to this point but I feel like I can finally take a deep breath and keep moving forward. 

 

I've got another thirteen books in my "to read" pile so I may share some more as I work through them! Any favourites that you're reading at the moment?



Hello 2016! {One little word}

There's something about a whole new year that gets me excited!  New memories to be made and experiences to be had...it feels like anything is possible!

I've always been a dreamer and a planner, but I'm also an over thinker and a procrastinator.  Doesn't always serve me so well and I can feel like I'm in a state of inner turmoil and conflict quite a bit of the time.

2015 has brought me quite a lot of clarity about the kind of life that I want and I've been able to remove a heap of mind clutter, which makes focus and therefore action more possible now than in the past.

I spent so long trying to find a "group" I belong too but I've finally realised I don't want to be put in any ONE box...I just take inspiration from all over the place and decide which fits.  I am probably a walking contradiction but that's OK with me.  I'm going to be a vegetarian who breeds cows for goodness sake! Haha.  I love simple living and stuff.  I'm a homebody who loves to go on adventures. I finally realised that there's no right or wrong in this life...just do what feels right and makes you happy!  Maybe it's an age thing where I just don't care anymore...

So for 2016, my one little word is actually two:

"Let go"

Because while I'll always be a planner and therefore a deliberate person who makes considered choices there is so much I need to let go of at the same time.

Let go of needing to know how things will turn out...
Let go of fearing how things will turn out...

and therefore

Trust that all is well and good and will be as it shall be.

I am so thankful for my life, my husband and my boys.  I absolutely love life here in the country and the friends that I've made.  I have overcome many issues from my past and am proud of the person I am today.

This is just the next step...letting go of the torment I put MYSELF through.  Because the rest is up to me now...

Happy 2016!  Here's hoping for an amazing year filled with love, fun and adventure and enough challenge to keep us on a path of learning and growing! 

xo

The Fisherman Story...

 I love this story...

The Fisherman Story
Author Unknown

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.  Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.  The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “Only a little while."

The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos.  I have a full and busy life.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part.  When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire.  Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

~

Some thoughts on simplicity and learning to be myself...

I am so far behind on my family happenings and it's my endeavour now that the boys are back at school and kinder to catch up but I just wanted to get some thoughts and ideas out there...

Simplicity...such a buzz word at the moment as so many people struggle to balance work, life, children, marriages, extended family, running households.

There is so much being written and shared that is so encouraging and helping to reduce consumption and not feel like life is one big race to who knows what.

Yet, due to my unique and crazy personality I was still trying fit in to a stereotype that I never will, and in actual fact probably doesn't even really exist.

Some people sharing ideas on simplicity are building thriving businesses and brands.  Some are working on becoming self sufficient with gardens and farms.  Some are focused on health and wellness, some on money, savings and investments.  There are even those that work on ways to earn money while they spend all of their time travelling.

It all falls into the category of simplicity even though it looks different to everyone.

Some people want to live simply now with reduced spending and just enough work and others work hard and save so they can be debt free and retire early.  Some are building businesses that they are passionate about and are earning fantastic money and simplicity to them is finding ways to not be too consumed with it all and find moments to just relax.

I guess what my point is, is that it's finally clicked that even a term such as "simplicity" can be interpreted a million different ways.  There will never be a right or wrong way of doing things.

What's important is that we find the way that feels right to us.  That's where the struggle begins for me.  It's always been my struggle although I do think I'm taking huge leaps forward at the moment.

I've had moments of feeling so torn to do what is "right" and to fit in and do what is expected.  Guilt when I haven't been able to live up to that for whatever reason.

So right now for me it's about letting go...or working on it at least.  Letting go of the conflict and accepting what is and making the most of it.

While there are so many amazing opportunities available to us in this day and age we need to make sure we're choosing based on our own values and not getting swept up in the fairy tale we are often shown.

Whatever we choose will mean perhaps sacrificing good things so that we can have the really great things.  The things that mean the most to us.  This will look different to each individual.

So I have to acknowledge some of this and do my best to work around the challenges and "grow where I'm planted" because there is good and amazing and wonderful in our everyday if we choose to look for it or even take the time to create it.

I'm also accepting that I'm allowed to contradict myself...there's no rule book that says I have to do things a certain way and that's a good thing.  I'll keep drawing inspiration from those around me like I always have but now I'll embrace it instead of feeling like I never fit in.  I'm in charge of designing my own life and I'm the only one that needs to love those choices! (obviously as long as it's not hurting others).   

Simply loving life.  That's all I want to be doing.  The good, the bad and the challenging.  The miracles and the messes.  Embrace it all and make the most of it.  Xoxo.

Super Mum alter ego...

So I have a Super Mum alter ego.

image source

She mostly comes out at night when the kids are asleep, the house is calm and peaceful and I have time to ponder.

She's pretty amazing.  She ploughs through a to-do list like nothing else, she manages her family and her home, travels, is fit and healthy and always looks well put together.  She cooks organic food from scratch and is available for school events and activities.  She runs marathons.  She is home every afternoon for her kids with afternoon tea.  She's great at craft and playtime and likes to read stories each night as she tucks her children in to sleep.  She also loves 1 on 1 times with each of them each day.  She enjoys romantic time with her husband every evening. 

She runs a business or two.  In diverse areas such as farming and tourism to the health and wellness industry.  She works minimal hours, has time for her family and earns a great income.

Of course, she does this all effortlessly, never loses her cool and knows how to socialise and have fun. 

She also has plenty of luxurious me time in there to look after herself.  Spa days and massages.  Retreats and seminars.

Oh, and she spends a portion of her time volunteering and giving back to the community. 

She really is pretty amazing...but unfortunately she is a work of fiction.   She doesn't exist, nor do I believe she ever will. 

image source

Now back to real life and what's in my heart.

My heart tells me to slow down, enjoy these precious boys. 

Slow down and enjoy motherhood with my whole being.

Focus and live in the present.

Be grateful and content with all that I have right now. 

My heart tells me, that my family won't care about much of what this Super Mum alter ego achieves.  They will care about how I make them feel. 

That my role at home is the most important thing in the world and I'm the only one that can mother my children.  You can't outsource that.

I'm the only one that can be a wife to my husband. 

My heart tells me, that there is such joy to be found in the simple things.  There is even so much joy to be found in the mundane.  The never ending tasks that are on repeat day in and day out.  There is love and nurturing in providing food, a comfortable home and fresh, clean clothes.  In teaching life skills and guiding these little hearts as they grow and face challenges.  In stopping the squabbles and wrestling that goes on between 4 energetic little boys. 

My heart tells me, everything is how it should be right now and to embrace it.  Keep putting relationships and love first.

My heart says to accept myself for who I am. Right now.

My heart says, let go of the idea of Super Mum...let go of ego and just be. 

image source

Do you have an alter ego?  I'd love to hear how you balance your big dreams with your reality?   Do you think it's possible to "have it all" while remaining true to your basic core values?

Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT

Blog anxiety...

So I love reading blogs...

All different types written by all sorts of different people.

It just proves to me that people are so unique and special in so many different ways.  We each have our own passions and ideas, troubles and challenges. 

All of the blogs I read inspire me in some way.  They encourage me to want to cook, create, play, farm, simplify, have fun, improve my relationships, make, photograph or just stop and be still.  To be grateful and present.  To appreciate who and what I have in my life.

The only downside to this, is that at times it stops me from blogging.

Which brings me to another point...

Why do I want to blog?

At times I thought it was because I wanted to try and create a business from home, because I wanted to be one of those people inspiring others, I wanted to prove that being at home with my kids could produce something "important".

Well, none of those things were enough to motivate me on a consistent basis.  It just confused me as to which direction to go in to make my blog important.  Hmmm...am I a mummy blogger? A health blogger? Simple living?  Aaaarrrggghhhh.

Nup.  I'm not going to fit into any one category. 

It also led me to compare myself...and somehow I could never match up.  How was I meant to share my life, my experiences when there were so many others doing it bigger and better than I was?

What I learnt in the process is that I don't want to be a writer or a photographer. I don't want to sell anything.  I can't change the world.  So many of these people, doing so many amazing things are paying a price that I'm not willing to.  It is the right path for them, but not for me.

So why do I really want to blog?

At the end of the day, I just want to record my family.  I want to be able to look back and remember this time of my life. 

It may be boring to everyone else out there, but I've decided this blog shouldn't be for "everyone else" it's for me.  And my children.  And my grandchildren. 

I truly adore my life, it is unique and I am pretty crazy - haha.  (Just ask my husband!)  I have gorgeous boys that I want to celebrate. 

I want to stop "trying" to be a blogger and just be a person with a blog.  I need to let go and just be me.  Honest and real.  Imperfect. 

Our lives are our ultimate creation.  We get to decide how to paint the canvas, and if we decide to change the entire colour scheme 100 times we can.  We can add texture and colour, or we can cover it in black and leave it lifeless.  We can start off influenced one way and completely change it to another.  We can cover it with white and start again, and again, and again. It's our choice.  It's our freedom. 

It scares me a little.  It's easier to pretend.  Who would have thought that it would be so hard to just be myself? 

Deep breath. 

Let's get on with it. 

Linking with Essentially Jess for #IBOT

About me...

I've updated my "about me" description and just wanted to expand on a few things...

Mum of 4 gorgeous boys - Louis 8, Dylan 6, Ethan 5 and Jayden 3 and wife of my spunky husband Michael, living in country Victoria...absolutely living my dream life!!!!! (that has it's fair share of challenges)

I feel passionate about personal growth, respectful parenting and unconditional LOVE! (and still fall and have to pick myself back up again...everyday)

I believe regardless of our past we have the power to shape our future and leave a legacy for our children that will trickle down and change the world! (which isn't anywhere close to easy...it takes persistence, determination and strength and plenty of moments of realising we're heading in the complete wrong direction and realigning...again)

I believe in deliberate mothering and building a strong family! (which takes a lot of learning and researching teamed with consistency and fun and days where I feel like I'm working towards the exact opposite)

I believe if we simplify life we have more chance of seeing beauty everywhere. (and can be so challenging in our modern non-stop, "more is better" society)

I believe we need to tread lightly on the earth. (well...it is the only one we have)

I believe in homegrown, homemade, buying locally and supporting small business. (and no...of course it's not the easiest or cheapest choice but it's 100% worth it and still something I don't always get right)

I believe we need to be kind to ourselves so we can be kind to others. (so simple in concept but challenging in reality...a work in progress)

I believe in empathy and encouragement. (which is much easier to do when we're not making everything all about ourselves!)

I believe in appreciating and having gratitude for every moment of life and making the most of it! (we only get one life and it will be full of ups and downs but we get to choose what we focus on and how we react and respond to it...choose wisely) 

I believe we need to nurture and nourish ourselves with healthy, organic food and plenty of exercise. (we have such a dysfunctional relationship with our bodies...it shouldn't be complicated...eat real food, grow organic if you can't afford it and get moving in whatever ways that you enjoy as often as you can)

I believe we can learn from everyone around us, therefore every experience both positive and negative is valuable! (yep...learn from everyone...especially the people that frustrate and upset you the most...there is a lesson to be learnt in every situation with ever person)

I could probably write about this stuff for days once I get started and there's so much more that I could add. 

I know how it can feel so overwhelming sometimes to think positively, it can feel almost impossible to see through the fog, like your feet are stuck in some thick mud making each step so much heavier than it needs to be.  Like you're looking at life behind a one way window.  You can see what's going on and you want to join in and participate in life but you just can't get there and no-one can see or hear you to try and help.

Or maybe that's just been my experience! haha.  At the end of the day, I was the only one that could turn it around.  No-one else could help me, I needed to do it on my own and to be honest I couldn't rely on the support and help of others because most people don't know how to help in these situations anyway.   

I guess, I notice that people sometimes think that I have things all together and yes, I absolutely adore my life.  A life, that others may turn up their nose at or think is lacking in this or that (which does not bother me in the slightest - there is no perfection to be found here).  This took a whole lot of work though, inside work.  It could have gone a whole lot of other ways if I had decided to give up instead of taking the steps forward that I needed to and just kept blaming others and playing the victim.

It's our life, our responsibility.  Just know that you have the ability to change the way you look at and feel about it though.  All of those negative thoughts and beliefs can be changed if you're willing to explore and challenge them.  We love to tell ourselves stories and excuses as to why things are the way they are and why we can't change them, but it's rubbish.  We all have the power to make our lives whatever we want and to enjoy the short amount of time that we have.  Regardless of the circumstances that are out of our control.

I would love to hear your thoughts...


Linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT

Confessions...

I started off so strong with a heap of challenges this year.  FMS Photo a day on Instagram, Clairey Hewitts #myfamilyandme weekly photo challenge.  The 52 project.  All such great ideas and so inspiring. 

Oh and then I also thought I jump in the deep end and have a crack at the shemakesthings crochet mood blanket 2014 challenge.  Not such a strong point although it was a lot of fun having a try.  I have so much admiration for you crafty women out there!

I'm a month in and I haven't kept up with any of them.  I've had a good go at them all.  Well, a reasonably good go anyway.

I've realised a few things though which make me realise I haven't "failed" at anything though, instead I feel like I've just completed some more fine tuning.  I feel like I've learnt a little more about myself and what makes me happy (and of course, what doesn't).

* Scheduling creativity does not appear to work for me.  I'd rather be inspired than forced.  It is something I feel that doesn't come easily for me so when it's there it's there and when it's not..well it's simply not.

*I go through phases.  Some days/weeks I'm all about my veggie garden, daydreaming about our move up to Homegrown farm.  Sometimes I need to focus on our family and building a strong connection or working on current issues we may be facing.  Other times I focus on myself a little more, working on personal issues I want to overcome, or simply re-filling my cup and nurturing myself.  Then I find myself going on my cooking runs where I'll try a heap of new recipes and be all about food.  This is usually followed by a decluttering and home organisation phase.  Who know's what will be next? Haha.

*These phases are part of who I am.  Luckily I'm at a place where I can embrace it.  It keeps life interesting for me and each little phase teaches me something new.  Some of the things I learn I find ways to apply and stick with and others I try and quickly work out that it's not for me. 

*I love taking photos.  I've have been so inspired by the idea of the family photos and I will continue to take them and submit them when it feels natural to do so and not forced.  It felt so good when we are all having a family fun day together to take a snap of all of us.  My photos on Instagram are usually of moments that I want to capture and share.   I know when it feels right to me.  The photo a day sometimes felt like I was just taking a photo just to take a photo if that makes sense.  Rather than a moment I wanted to record specifically.

*I love to blog.  To record our life over these beautiful years raising my boys.  It makes me focus on all the good there is in my life and how grateful I am.

*Living life will always come first.  For me, there's no point blogging if everything else is falling apart at the seams. 

It's so funny how our own thoughts can be our own worst enemy.  We make most of the issues and drama up in our own heads and then let it control us.  In reality we actually get to design our lives in all of our choices and baby steps forward.  I don't want to "should" all over myself  by looking at the lives of those around me who have found a way to make life work for them.  That is their story and it won't work if I try and copy it.  I'm unique so my life will be as well.  It won't look like any other.  

I'm so blissed out with my life right now.  It feels like I have so many things falling into place that I've wanted for so long.  It feels magical to me sometimes.  I am happy and content (most of the time!) and love the direction I'm moving in. It sure is an amazing journey filled with ups and downs, challenges and successes.  Even though it most definitely wouldn't appeal to everyone I wouldn't change any of it for the world. 

One word for 2014

I've known my word for a few weeks now...

I'm excited about it and everything it means to me.  This word will not only shape my life but also the direction of my blog, which I've struggled with in the past.

Awesome image from Tash @ Little Bit of Thyme

Deliberate:

1. done consciously and intentionally

2. careful and unhurried

It's what I'm about completely (or at least working towards).  I spend time reading and researching until something feels right to me.  Maybe this is easy for others but for me it takes time.

To be deliberate you need to know what you stand for.  You can't just follow the crowd and go along with whatever everyone else is doing.  You need to examine your beliefs and your patterns and work out what you've picked up along the way and what is authentically you.  It's important to know what you're willing to sacrifice and what you're willing to work hard for.  What you're willing to let go of and what you're going to hold onto with all of your being.  It takes looking at your own values and ethics and what you believe your purpose is in this world and how to align yourself with it all.  Being deliberate is a life long journey of discovery, tweaking and adjusting, creating and celebrating your unique self and what you bring to the world that no-one else can. 

I want to be a deliberate mother...for me this means I treat my children how I would like to be treated.  I want them to feel loved, heard and supported.  I want to treat them with respect.  I want them to believe in themselves and follow their hearts.  I want us all to feel connected as a family. I want to continue to work on the example I'm setting as their mother and as a role model.

I want to be deliberate in my health...for me this means eating whole foods as close to nature as possible.  Being mindful of what I'm consuming including medications and also mindful of what is going on my skin as well.  A big challenge for me will be adding in regular exercise into my days.  By this time next year I want it to be such a habit that I won't even have to think about it.  Of course, this will take a lot of  reprogramming to get back in this mindset.  I have been there before though, so I know I can do it again. It means taking time to relax and just be.  To enjoy nature and meditate.  To stretch and move my body.  To respect myself. 

I want to be deliberate in my marriage and relationships...for me this means being mindful of my emotional reactions and working out where they come from and how I can handle it practically.  This skill alone has helped me immensely.  When we react, we feel that pang in our belly or our chest, even our throat and we often let our emotion fly straight out with accusations and stories of how others are wronging us.  I love the quote: "Seek first to understand, then be understood".  My goodness it can make the world of difference if we can understand those around us before we try and push our own agenda!  It takes practise though. 
It means loving people unconditionally.  It means supporting, encouraging and lifting others up. 

I want to be deliberate in how I spend my time...for me this means scheduling in what really matters to me and to our family.  We do not thrive as a busy, fast paced family.  We all enjoy our moments of peace and quiet, but do we ever love a bit of fun and adventure.  It will mean being mindful as to what each of us needs at different times.  A balancing act, but one that will lead us to our own individual bliss points. 

Being deliberate will cross every aspect of my life.  From growing my garden, creating and managing our budget and finances to simply living our every day life. 

I will have moments where I fail and fall, I'll be uncertain and undecided,  but I'll be sure to pick myself back up again and keep on growing, learning and moving forward. 

2014 looks to be an exciting year for our family with the continued building of our home, 3 little boys in school (Louis - Grade 3, Dylan - Grade 1 and Ethan - Prep) and Jayden attending 3yo kinder! 
I honestly couldn't be more happy and grateful to start off the year as we are.  Our life isn't perfect by any stretch, but I will continue to find the joy in the imperfections of it and life lessons in the challenges that we face.

 Happy 2014 to you all!  I hope this year brings you much health, happiness and abundance! 

Linking up with Maxabella loves for her annual one word linky!

Finding purpose and contentment...

I was always told, due to a number of my big ideas that I would no doubt be a success some day.  I used to come up with all sorts of big business ideas, and I would get caught up in the idea of making money and proving to everyone how clever I was. 

This even continued after I started having my boys although as time went on my ideas grew smaller...

Of course, out of all of these great ideas nothing ever really took off.  Yes, I started a small dance school which was a lot of fun but I kept it casual and fun and there was never a whole lot of pressure. 

Then, as I started working on my own personal growth I dreamt of ways to help other people...I could become a life coach or start weekend retreats.  I could study yoga or counselling.  The list went on and on and changed sometimes weekly.

I soon realised that the idea of all of this was great, however I really didn't want to do any of it when it came to the practical side.

So, naturally after this realisation I started to think that I just must be lazy and unmotivated.  Who in this day and age doesn't want to strive for bigger and better?   Who doesn't want to earn more money to buy bigger houses and new cars, luxury holidays and expensive clothes?

Turns out that I don't. 



I started to think about all this ego building success and wondering how satisfying it would be if the relationship with my children suffered?  If I missed so many important firsts and if they grew up thinking that I valued career, success and money more than I valued them? 

Just to point out, these are the decisions that I came to, that resonated with me and I feel is in line with my calling and purpose in my life. 

I have never been so content and at peace as I have since I letting go of all the inner conflict that I once felt. 

All of a sudden, I didn't feel like I should be more.  That what I'm doing wasn't good enough, and that I needed to prove that I was worth more to anyone.  The amazing part is that I started getting so much more done!!  Because it's where I was meant to be all along.  I'm achieving more with my family and in my home and I'm becoming the mother I always wanted not just in theory but in practise.  

I can't predict my future, however I have trust that everything will continue to fall into place now that I'm not fighting it. 

If there's one message I would really love to send out to anyone reading, please have trust in yourself.  That you are just right the way you are.  If you find yourself battling internally, or you're in a constant state of stress to get through your day to day, take a step back.  Reassess who you are and what you love.  What are your passions and what is your purpose?  Get back to basics and work out what you value most in your life. 

Of course, we all have responsibilities and not everyone drop everything to follow their passions at any given moment, but just asking yourself those questions can be a start.  We can always start altering our path little by little with each choice we make. 

Naturopath update...

I saw my Naturopath tonight for the results of my body composition and health analysis.  Wow - what an insight to how much body is functioning. 

Some of the nitty gritty details included:

Carrying 3 litres of excess fluid (3kg)
9% too much body fat
Carrying about 12kg of extra weight
My muscle quality is slightly low - I could stand to gain 1kg more muscle
Hydration levels were marginal

Based on these factors my "real age" is 35.

Deep breath...

Although I know that I've gained weight after having Jayden when you see it all written down in black and white like that it makes it very real.  I really don't want to have to worry about my poor body feeling 35 when I'm only 31! 

I highly recommend visiting your local Naturopath if you're feeling like you're body is struggling in any way or you're carrying extra weight.  The information I have gained from these visits is invaluable and you will not learn half of this from a GP.  Dr's don't study nutrition, so it is not their area of expertise.  A Naturopath will look at all of your concerns in a holistic way and get down to the bottom of it.  I'm so glad that I have started this path to wellness with the guidance of my amazing Naturopath. 

It is baby steps for me now, trying to integrate exceptional nutrition into our daily diets.  I find it easy to fall into a bit of a default of "easy" food when I'm busy or tired, however making small changes often can make all the difference. I believe it is about being mindful of the food choices I'm making.  Setting an intention that the food I consume has a purpose nutritionally (and still tastes good).

I will have another assessment in about 4 week and see if I've made some improvements! 

Healthy protein shake for energy and vitality...

I'm not a morning person.  I've probably written that about 20 times now.  It's a struggle constantly as I'm a natural night owl.  Unfortunately that doesn't really work out to well these days although there are plenty times I push it and stay up until 12-1am and then need to find lots of ways to boost my energy levels the next day. 

I've been trying to limit my wheat and dairy intake somewhat and boosting my consumption of healthy, nutritious foods so this is now what breakfast looks like most mornings.

Cyndi O'Meara's Protein Shake (slightly altered to my preferences)

Starting off with 30g Organic oats and 30g pesticide free almonds in the Thermomix and grind for 10 seconds. 

Add 1 banana, 1 cup fruit (I prefer fresh strawberries, however I always have frozen berries just in case), a handful of kale if I have any and one small tray of ice.

Then add 1 tbsp of Colloidal minerals and 1 tsp Green powder - I use organic barleygrass

 1 tbsp organic flax oil or organic coconut oil (seriously, my skin and hair feels so good when I add this)

Finally, 1 tbsp honey, 1/4 c organic oat milk and a little filtered water.





 Ready to blend for about 30 seconds...I use my Thermomix obviously but I assume a food processor would achieve similar results...

Looks great doesn't it? 3 out of 4 of my boys drink this smoothie as well so I sometimes add a splash more oat milk and water to make them a small cup each as well.  This honestly keeps me full all morning until lunchtimes and it tastes so good. 

Vegetarian, wheat free, dairy free and raw! (Although depending on the oats purchased may still contain gluten)

There are heaps of variations in the cookbook so of course you can play around depending on your tastes.  If there's one thing I've learnt if you want to eat healthy is that it has to taste good.  It's impossible to maintain something if you think it's disgusting!  

Visit Changing Habits for amazing recipes, health reports and products from Cyndi O'Meara.  She is just such an inspiration in health and nutrition. 

You can also check out the Thermomix website to learn about this awesome gadget.  It is expensive but I LOVE mine, I use it everyday!

Blood test results...

I nervously called up the medical clinic this morning for my blood test results.  The nurse started reading through saying that everything seemed within a healthy range.  Iron and Ferritin levels were good (woo hoo considering I'm vegetarian!), blood sugar - good, cholesterol - great (take that all you chemical margarine producers - I'm an egg, butter, full fat milk, yoghurt and cheese eating girl!), B12 - good. Vitamin D - LOW!

So overall, I'm apparently a very healthy individual with very low Vitamin D.  Which led me to some interesting research...

*Low vitamin D is linked with depression and anxiety (yes, I'm a google Dr...I find it very interesting that usually natural health sites say one thing while the medical sites usually deny it - I'd rather trust the natural sites to be honest!) 

So, wearing my Dr hat right now, could it possible be the cause of my mystery illness??

I called my naturopath straight away and organised to pick up a therapeutic dose of Vitamin D to get started on straight away.  I highly recommend seeing a naturopath for any health concerns, even if it's just a second opinion aside from your Dr.  So many illnesses can be managed by diet and supplementation, and I truly believe the longer anyone stays off medication the better.

So the measures I'm taking to try and increase my health and wellness right now include:

*Exercise - Treadmill at the moment, with some stretching and at home Yoga thrown in. 
*Sleep - My biggest challenge as I'm a night owl...I'm endeavouring to be in bed fast asleep by 11 - 11.30pm
*Nutrition - Lemon water, Breakfast smoothie (I'll do a post on this soon - it's AMAZING), Salads for lunch, drink lots of water, Veggies and healthy grains for dinner, eggs, LIMIT wheat, dairy,  packaged foods NO coke or tea to limit caffeine intake.
*Supplements - I'm on Vitamin D, Occasional Spirulina tablets, Premular (herbal remedy for hormone balancing)
*Wellbeing - Taking time to relax and not push myself too hard right now.  Spend time doing a little relaxation and meditation.
*Attitude - Working on being grateful, accepting those around me and loving them, accepting myself,  not taking things personally, living with intention and purpose...I could go on as this list is a post in itself!

On a separate note, we had our Friday night movie night tonight with the boys.  We watched "Antz" which is an old movie, but the boys hadn't seen it. 

The boys really don't care what movie we watch, it's the novelty of eating dinner in the lounge room (dessert sometimes as well) and snuggling up on the couch afterwards.  It really is something they look forward to each week and is a great family ritual for us.

Mystery health issue...

One evening, a couple of months ago, I was sitting in bed reading when I had a massive overwhelming feeling of fear followed by what I later learned was probably an anxiety attack.  I told Michael (my husband) that I really wasn't feeling well and asked if he would watch TV with me to try and distract me.  It didn't work.  I also had feelings of nausea and then the right side of my face and right arm and hand went numb and tingly. 

At about 2am I managed to finally dose off.  I thought that if I could just fall asleep then I would wake up feeling better.  Around 4.30am Jayden woke us up crying and while Michael went to him I got up to go to the toilet and felt even worse!  I really freaked out and asked him to call an ambulance. 

So, I went to hospital and being the country saw a Dr the next morning around 9.30am.  They seemed to think I was fine and treated me for a silent migraine with a saline drip and a couple of painkillers.  Although I had no headache.

They sent me to a larger hospital about an hour away, where I had to go through the emergency department again and after all of that they suggested again, it's probably just a silent migraine, we won't do a CT scan just let your Dr know if it happens again.

It really scared me and took me a good 5 or 6 days to start feeling back to normal. The numb/tingling feeling lingered and some of the evenings after that I felt like I was getting a little anxious but this soon faded.

After that I was feeling really good.  I lost a few kg and was eating well.  I have also visited a naturopath who has been helping with my general wellbeing also.

A couple of weeks ago, Michael and I headed to Melbourne for my cousin's 50th birthday party.  We were really looking forward to catching up with the family, dressing up and of course a weekend away is a rarity for us!

Michael and I all dressed up!

We had a fantastic time!  Overdid it on the wine and certainly paid for it the next day feeling a little seedy.  We took my Dad out for a belated Fathers Day lunch which was really nice, and the weather was gorgeous!

We picked the kids up from my In-laws and we were home around 8.30pm.  The boys went straight to bed and I went to check email and facebook...as you do!

Well, to my surprise I started with another anxiety attack/mystery illness episode!  I quickly hopped in to bed and stayed calm this time assuming that I wasn't about to drop dead that moment.  Michael was super supportive looking up methods to help and gave me a little squeezy ball to help distract me.  I was sort of cold shaking for about 5-10min, but eventually managed to take deep breaths and fall asleep.

The next morning the anxious feeling was gone, but I was left feeling very spaced out, light headed and with a funny feeling in my right hand again.  Not tingling, but kind of feeling weak? 

This time around it took nearly a week to feel better...Each day I had reduced symptoms and was feeling better.  Those first few days though I was so tired, I snuggled up with the boys in the afternoon for a movie and dozed off!

So, I'm seriously either losing my marbles in my ripe old age of 31 years or there's something physically going on that's causing these weird episodes. My worse mistake was Googling my symptoms because I then started to worry that I have about 150 different medical conditions!!

So my mystery health issue will hopefully not be a mystery for too much longer as I head to the Dr next week for a comprehensive blood test and possibly some scans to follow...

I'll let you know how it goes!