Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Enjoying the moment...

After a particularly hectic day of kinder drop offs and pick ups and shopping trips and Louis's big excursion to Healesville Sanctuary we were all exhausted this evening.

Knowing that Louis has no school tomorrow due to stop work action and there is no-where we need to be gave us permission to fall in a heap. 

Cuddling Louis when he was little and very unwell with Croup

Sometimes we just need to let go of all of the to-do lists and normal tasks and just all snuggle up on the couch and relax.  Even though the boys were tired they stayed up a little later because we all just couldn't be bothered getting ready for bed earlier than 7.30pm. 

Michael fell asleep cuddling Jayden in his bed, and I fell asleep cuddling Ethan and that was us done until I woke just after 9pm!

Michael cuddling Louis when he was teeny tiny...

In my opinion those are such special moments.  Those moments where we can forget about all the "shoulds" and just enjoy being with our children.  We all get to relax and rest and the kids get a lot of comfort from Mum and/or Dad.

When I first had Louis (and the rest of my boys for that matter) I had a lot of well meaning people tell me that I cuddled them too much and that's why they wouldn't sleep through.  I was told not to rock them to sleep and definitely never bring them into my bed. 

I didn't want to do the "wrong thing" so would try and teach them what they needed to learn and didn't trust that they already knew what they needed

My boys are growing up so fast, if they want to have snuggles with Mum and Dad in our bed then they can.  We often wake up with at least 1 boy (mostly Jayden!) in our bed but sometimes Ethan or Dylan as well.  Louis basically never does now, however I usually invite him to have a sleepover if Michael's away over the school holidays and he finds that really special. 

Daddy and Dylan
Oh my goodness, how I wish I could turn back the clock and offer that freedom and connection back to my first 3 boys in their early years...I'm not sure if I've mentioned that there was a time when Ethan and I felt quite disconnected and he spent a good couple of months climbing into our bed each night and I feel like he really needed that to feel close to me again.  I'm so grateful that I had the opportunity to do that even at this stage rather than get cross at him and push him away again. 

Our children rely on us for everything.  When we push them away and discount their needs it must be so heartbreaking for them.  They are so vulnerable every time they reach for us and how many times have we pushed them away because we don't want to pick them up again or we're too busy?

Nanna snoozing with baby Dylan and Daddy catching up on sleep as well...

It's so funny sometimes when we surrender ourselves to our children how much they grow emotionally and don't even need us so much because they know we will be there when they do need us.  It has been proven to me time and time again. 

Our children need us and it will not make them more clingy or dependent. 

Daddy and Jayden...

Slow down and enjoy them...enjoy the little moments and try not to wish them away so fast.  I completely understand how sometimes especially with a little baby that it can feel like they're in a difficult stage for what feels like forever, but as the saying goes "this too shall pass"...

When my boys are acting out it is one of my biggest mistakes to work out how to "fix" them.  They do not need fixing.  I need to look at my interaction with them and work on myself and my communication and level of connection with my children.  It works everytime.  If I'm feeling low this completely gives me a return of energy because all of a sudden any problems are within my control  It is empowering to realise that we can make changes that impact on our children and our family in such a dynamic way.  It is a gift to be able to look within at ourselves and see our own faults and weaknesses and to stop projecting them onto our children. 

Daddy and baby Jayden

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