Thursday, October 4, 2012

Simple way to reconnect...

Oh my what a gorgeous Spring day it was today!   I managed to get some more seeds planted and was happy to note that my sunflowers are holding up well after re-potting.  My carrots are also growing like crazy at the moment. 

Boys had a ball hanging out and playing in the sprinkler again, and I must say that I love hanging out washing in the sunshine.  There is something therapeutic about it (maybe only for a crazy person like me?).

The boys played quite nicely today, and Louis was just being so gorgeous.  He really is just such a great big brother.  In the afternoon he seemed a little quiet and just mentioned that he wasn't really sure what he wanted to do.  I asked if he missed his friends which he answered with a big "yes".  One thing that he loves to do at the moment is play WOW (World of Warcraft) an online computer game, which he learnt from his Dad.  I'm personally not a computer game person, in fact, my eyes glaze over if anyone even starts talking about them.  I try, but it honestly feels like I'm allergic to it.  It's really just not my thing.  I really don't even think I could fake being interested.

However, I could feel that he was just wanting some time from me, or at least wanting to do some kind of activity.  I had offered some suggestions earlier that met with rolling eyes (yes, I turned into my mother for a minute when my ideas included cleaning his room and chores) so this time I put the ball in his court. 

"Louis, for 10 minutes you have my full attention doing whatever you would like to do" 

I waited for the dreaded idea of WOW to come up.  To my surprise he wanted us to colour in together.  Easy.  We printed off a couple of pictures of a cheetah and then chose the colour scheme.  He wanted us to colour in the same colours in the same areas to add to the fun. 

10 minutes, actually turned into 20 minutes but who cares when we're both chilling out having fun.

So, this has become another tool in my parenting toolbox. 10 minutes is easy for most of us to find and if we allow our kids to choose the activity they can feel extra good about the time spent together.  I have read, that you can alternate this each day between the kids choosing the activity and the parents choosing the activity, however there's no need for any hard and fast rules there. 

My endeavour now, is to achieve this each day with each of my boys.  In saying that, I obviously spend plenty of time listening and interacting with my children each day, but to make this special 1 on 1 time with them choosing the play I think will make it a really great time to connect on their level. 

A huge inspiration for me in my parenting is Dr Laura Markham at Aha Parenting.  I will probably share plenty more idea's over time as she is amazing in her approach to parenting.  Check out her page and see if it resonates with you. 

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